medicines, tools, and emotions

I just had stevia by itself for the first time ever today. Should have taken some sooner. I honestly forgot what it was called and somehow didn't try to figure it out and just stumbled upon the word this week while I was scrolling through Facebook. It's just a laxative to me. Works way better than others do, at least in my case. As such, I can get back to typing.

 I have ordered a new kind of medicine that I'm kind of excited about. It's a bunch of enzymes with particular minerals to allow those enzymes to do their job. It's 30 percent minerals and the rest of it is enzymes. It's been explained that the body's digestion system may slow down, a very common occurrence with women experiencing menopause, and the reason it can do this is from a lack of appropriate minerals, seemingly these women run out of minerals too fast so even when they take enzymes, it's not good enough. I don't know how veritable this all is, but it seems logical.

In my case, I've been digesting food, but this is not operating fast enough for me. I'm hoping this could be the product that will actually let me gain some weight. I might be hoping for too much here but considering that I'm seeing the value of the fasting logic in my current situation it stands to reason that if that fasting window is necessary to allow me to heal, I also need enough time during the non-fasting hours to digest food or else my body won't spend energy on repairs. I could simply OMAD my way into long fasting hours, but I think I need a stronger digestive system if I ever hope to achieve a healthier weight.

I don't want to err on the side of danger with regards to trying to gain weight of course, I feel like I've done it before including in recent times as I have strayed away from my previous OMAD/TMAD routines and now I'm back at the fasting strategy to cope with the backlash that snacking seems to have caused me. The principle that is brought up a lot is an eating window of 8 hours followed by a fasting window of 16 hours. I'm sure the exact numbers aren't incredibly important, it's probably more important to pay attention to what your body needs, but that's a decent starting point for anyone to work from.

The overall point is you get all your eating done within 1/3 of the day then don't eat for the remaining 2/3 of the day. A fast for those that don't know means not taking in any nutrients besides water. Sometimes people call it a water fast which is erroneous(as if it's called that because the only thing you're allowed is water, while drinking anything not water is decidedly disqualified from being a fast which is why the specification is invalid), as a water fast means literally not drinking water for a fixed amount of time. You can modify your fasting routine according to recommendations by doctors, perhaps they want you to take medicines or some special food, but these are minor details. The important thing to keep in mind is we're not trying to kick our bodies out of repair mode. I'm not going to try and research where the line is for such a thing, it's not incredibly important to me. Maybe I'll accidentally discover some of where it is later, but I'm unsure if I'll get to the point where such a thing would be risk-minimal and convenient.

Something people might not tell you is that the waste removal part of your body is part of the repair mode process. This is key to understanding why we might struggle with IBS. Perhaps we are not granting ourselves enough time to do the waste removal. I'm still learning this stuff and thinking heavily upon it, so there's a chance some of what I'm explaining here could be incorrect, but that has ever been the case with us humans, even if we are professionals.

Another thing I did that I regret in recent years/months was purchase the wrong shoes. The shoes I got were too small and so I stopped wearing them eventually. I believe the inappropriate shoe size contributed to my legs failing when they did. Don't ask me to explain how/why I got the wrong shoe size or to tell you the duration of wearing. I'm too embarrassed to share that at the moment. I'm going to be shopping around for shoes better than this older pair that are falling apart(not the ones that are too small, it's too dangerous for me to wear them).

I don't know how much I'm going to be using shoes compared to the past version of me that would walk everywhere I needed year by year with few exceptions. It's unclear to me what's safe and what isn't at this point when it comes to the idea of just walking to places that I would walk to previously without a thought to anything besides if I'm hydrated and/or starving. My legs seem to have undergone a lot of healing, but I believe they are due some more bed rest and another examination to see if all the bruising has gone away yet at the very least.

Dealing with my emotions is another thing I'm realizing now that I've been struggling with my whole life. To feel the things that I feel about my own body isn't always easy. For example, I think of times in TV shows when characters would recommend or make an order for other characters to stay under observation and continue resting and such things instead of going off and working, and I have noticed myself clinging to life(and others times rushing ahead out of a desire to do more like some dedicated personnel in a TV show), choosing not to end it all early. I've been through so much pain my life, and even more as I've become older. I know we all have our bad days and not so bad days... and I don't dare hope that 10/10 pain and suffering feelings will go away in my life, but so long as I'm not dead yet, I'll try to learn and see if I can give back to the world in whatever small way I can.

The world seems content to serve nothing but harsh lessons and suffering. The result of a reign by a spirit that doesn't love us. I heard an interesting point in a YT video this week. They were talking about teaching others or focusing on healing for yourself. They said there isn't necessarily a right path to take. But does this have to be a path? I think not. Perhaps from circumstance to circumstance or from conversation to conversation, we can make the decision, rather than to continuously pursue just healing or just teaching. I think that's what Jesus would want us to do. Pick our battles, not just choose to always fight or always not fight. Make our blows so as not to be striking the air as the apostle Paul said.

I'll try to minimize wasted effort. We're all going to make mistakes, but we should try and learn from them and improve ourselves, to be as perfect as we can. We can't make the mark, but it's still important to try for it. Not to flaunt our own skills, power, etcetera, but simply to be better able to benefit ourselves and those seeking the same thing.