Food and Gaming and Books

So I have gone from corn chips and salsa to taquitos and salsa to just pinto beans and salsa. I'm not eating meat at the moment, not even eggs, although I recently ate some shrimp and I might eat more of that later, I'm not sure. Today I had some of the best poop I have had in as long as I can remember. Soft and relatively big. The above and teff and yogurt have been all I have eaten, other than a mix of honey, royal jelly, and bee pollen. I might buy some more pearl onions since I probably am not getting enough protein from the small amount of onions in the salsa. Of course teff has protein as well but it's a different kind I think. I'm actually annoyed because as my colon feels great my face gets scales all over it. I know I could clear up my complexion significantly if I were to consume some chocolate, but I would imagine that doing so has the potential to damage my colon.

As for gaming...the new monitor seems to work rather well and the new mouse is fine I guess. I don't like the bright red light on top but it seems to be functioning fine. In Heroes of the Storm, I bought Abathur for 10,000 gold and won my first game that I played with him rather easily. I still have a little over 10,000 gold left and I'm thinking of getting Johanna, Kael'thas, Zeratul, or Thrall. And there are some cheaper heroes I'd like to get. In Dota 2, it seems like I can win if I make sure to pick the perfect support heroes to make sure my allies get an unfair advantage over our opponents. Every game makes me feel like I'm playing with total morons but if I apply my knowledge and am alert to what they need it's a lot easier. It's tough though since it's hard to be diplomatic and more often than not the clearest path to victory involves muting at least half your team. In League of Legends I tried playing Jinx but found it was hard to get a support for a team, so I checked in as support Jinx and went AP and won without much difficulty. A bit silly since she has only one ability that scales with AP and I didn't get the damage applied from it very often. I think perhaps the Essence Reaver is the best item for a support Jinx so maybe I'll try it next time. In Hearthstone I almost got Shaman to level 60 and I figure I might as well level up each class to that point. Tavern Brawl games seem harder than regular ones after the first day. This is mainly because a lot of the folks that play those Tavern Brawls seem to be higher ranking players with better collections. Perhaps as I try to level up classes I will start getting a higher rank? Eh, probably not.

I am almost done with the Star Wars book series I was working on for a while. I'm on the very last book now and to be honest it doesn't seem particularly interesting. It has a lot of fighting which would probably be more fun to watch than to read about, especially since there seems to be a lot of simple mistakes the author makes like calling columns rows and that kind of immature thing. It's a bit awkward how many mistakes I can spot in the average published book and how I don't always know for sure what the author really meant. As a reader, I don't like taking extra time trying to figure out what the writing should be, I should rather spend it trying to figure out what is being told. Such amateur work really makes one go through the process at a speed not desirable.

Diet and gaming update

Lately I've been trying to avoid excessive noise wherever possible.

Another tidbit is that I managed to save some money for computer parts and put together a desktop for gaming and can now play Dota 2 and Heroes of the Storm again.

I just ordered another couple of jars of specialized honey from supersup.com. Probably waited too long to do this! Anyway, it has royal jelly and bee pollen in it which help provide nourishment and energy to my body. I'm almost done eating my first 50 pounds of Teff from the Teff Company and will be ordering another 25 soon. I have lately not eaten as much white rice as I used to despite ordering a lot of it. I am currently thinking about additions to my diet. I'm trying to stay away from GMO and gluten the most. I'm thinking of maybe onions and lean beef? My body doesn't like potatoes and cabbage so much anymore and it has grown weary of beef hot dogs. Another proposition would be adding fish oil from Super Supplements into my diet, but I wonder if I should just start buying fish instead? Does fish go good with onions?

As a minor note, I am going to just use the rest of this blog as a backup source for my configuration files. I don't think I'll need it, but I might as well do it anyway. Anyone that doesn't play either of the above games might as well ignore the rest of this blog post.

//game_convars.vcfg
 "config"
{
    "convars"
    {
        "mat_motion_blur_enabled"    "0"
        "snd_foliage_db_loss"    "0"
        "exec"            "autoexec.cfg"
    }
}
//autoexec.cfg
alias chat0 "chat_wheel_phrase_0 20;chat_wheel_phrase_1 21;chat_wheel_phrase_2 14;chat_wheel_phrase_3 16;chat_wheel_phrase_4 78;chat_wheel_phrase_5 1;chat_wheel_phrase_6 17;chat_wheel_phrase_7 15;"
alias chat1 "chat_wheel_phrase_0 1;chat_wheel_phrase_1 83;chat_wheel_phrase_2 42;chat_wheel_phrase_3 45;chat_wheel_phrase_4 42;chat_wheel_phrase_5 84;chat_wheel_phrase_6 44;chat_wheel_phrase_7 58;"
alias chat2 "chat_wheel_phrase_0 70;chat_wheel_phrase_1 80;chat_wheel_phrase_2 69;chat_wheel_phrase_3 62;chat_wheel_phrase_4 75;chat_wheel_phrase_5 68;chat_wheel_phrase_6 64;chat_wheel_phrase_7 79;"
alias chat3 "chat_wheel_phrase_0 55;chat_wheel_phrase_1 36;chat_wheel_phrase_2 63;chat_wheel_phrase_3 35;chat_wheel_phrase_4 57;chat_wheel_phrase_5 81;chat_wheel_phrase_6 54;chat_wheel_phrase_7 37;"
alias "chatchangekeys_toggle" "chatseta_on"
alias "chatseta_on" "exec chatalternatelist.cfg; alias chatchangekeys_toggle chatseta_off"
alias "chatseta_off" "exec chatfirstlist.cfg; alias chatchangekeys_toggle chatseta_on"
"dota_health_per_vertical_marker" "333"
"dota_minimap_tower_defend_distance" "250"
bind "f4" "exec HH00.cfg"//default
bind "f5" "exec HH01.cfg"//6skillhero
bind "f6" "exec HH02.cfg"//autocasterA
alias "+heroabilitylearn" "dota_ability_learn_mode"
alias "-heroabilitylearn" "dota_learn_stats"
alias "+topruneview" "dota_camera_set_lookatpos -2520.607910 1695.889038"
alias "-topruneview" "+dota_camera_follow; +dota_camera_follow"
alias "+botruneview" "dota_camera_set_lookatpos 3177.680664 -2339.680420"
alias "-botruneview" "+dota_camera_follow; +dota_camera_follow"
alias "+smartshop" "toggleshoppanel"
alias "-smartshop" "toggleshoppanel"
bind "f3" "toggleconsole"
bind "z" "dota_courier_burst"
bind "c" "dota__select_courier"
dota_minimap_misclick_time "0"
dota_show_itempickups 0
dota_selector_fulldeck_mode 1
//dota_camera_disable_zoom "0"
dota_disable_showcase_view_button "1"
dota_hero_tooltip 1 //Style of the hero tooltip. 0 = Corner, 1(default) = Overhead, 2 = Inline overhead.
dota_hud_colorblind 1
dota_minimap_hero_size 625
dota_minimap_simple_colors 0
dota_minimap_simple_filter 1
dota_friendly_color_r_cb 1.0
dota_friendly_color_g_cb 1.0
dota_friendly_color_b_cb 1.0
dota_enemy_color_r_cb 0.596078431372549
dota_enemy_color_g_cb 0.4627450980392157
dota_enemy_color_b_cb 0.3294117647058824
//HH00.cfg
dota_player_units_auto_attack 0
dota_player_units_auto_attack_after_spell 1
dota_player_teleport_requires_halt 1
dota_player_add_summoned_to_selection 0
bind "u" "dota_ability_execute 0"
bind "h" "dota_ability_execute 1"
bind "m" "dota_ability_execute 2"
bind "r" "dota_ability_execute 5"
bind "MOUSE5" "+heroabilitylearn"
bind "d" "dota_item_execute 0"
bind "g" "dota_item_execute 1"
bind "j" "dota_item_execute 2"
bind "x" "dota_item_execute 3"
bind "v" "dota_item_execute 4"
bind "n" "dota_item_execute 5"
bind "." "dota_purchase_stickybuy"
bind "/" "stash_grab_all"
bind "," "dota_purchase_quickbuy"
bind "f" "dota_stop"
bind "k" "mc_attack"
bind "i" "mc_move"
bind "8" "+dota_camera_follow"//
bind "7" "dota_select_all"//selecting all your units
bind "6" "dota_select_all_others"//selecting all but hero
bind "5" "dota_courier_deliver"
bind "a" "+smartshop"
bind "4" "+voicerecord"//
bind "0" "dota_glyph"//
bind "SPACE" "dota_cycle_selected"
bind "MOUSE4" "+dota_camera_follow; +dota_camera_follow"//
bind "t" "+topruneview"
bind "y" "+botruneview"
bind "e" "+chatwheel; chat0"
bind "3" "+chatwheel; chat1"
bind "2" "+chatwheel; chat2"
bind "w" "+chatwheel; chat3"
//HH01.cfg
dota_player_units_auto_attack 0
dota_player_units_auto_attack_after_spell 0
dota_player_teleport_requires_halt 1
dota_player_add_summoned_to_selection 0
bind "d" "dota_ability_execute 0"
bind "f" "dota_ability_execute 1"
bind "g" "dota_ability_execute 2"
bind "h" "dota_ability_execute 3"
bind "j" "dota_ability_execute 4"
bind "k" "dota_ability_execute 5"
bind "t" "dota_item_execute 0"
bind "y" "dota_item_execute 1"
bind "u" "dota_item_execute 2"
bind "b" "dota_item_execute 3"
bind "n" "dota_item_execute 4"
bind "m" "dota_item_execute 5"
bind "." "dota_purchase_stickybuy"
bind "/" "stash_grab_all"
bind "," "dota_purchase_quickbuy"
bind "MOUSE5" "dota_stop"
bind "MOUSE4" "mc_attack"
bind "x" "mc_move"
bind "8" "+dota_camera_follow;+dota_camera_follow"//
bind "7" "dota_select_all"//selecting all your units
bind "6" "dota_select_all_others"//selecting all but hero
bind "5" "dota_courier_deliver"
bind "a" "+smartshop"
bind "4" "+voicerecord"//
bind "0" "dota_glyph"//
bind "SPACE" "dota_cycle_selected"
bind "r" "+topruneview"
bind "i" "+botruneview"
bind "e" "+chatwheel; chat0"
bind "3" "+chatwheel; chat1"
bind "2" "+chatwheel; chat2"
bind "w" "+chatwheel; chat3"
//HH02.cfg
 bind "f6" "exec HH03.cfg"
dota_player_units_auto_attack 0
dota_player_units_auto_attack_after_spell 1
dota_player_teleport_requires_halt 1
dota_player_add_summoned_to_selection 0
bind "u" "dota_ability_execute 0"
bind "h" "dota_ability_execute 1"
bind "m" "dota_ability_execute 2"
bind "r" "dota_ability_execute 5"
bind "MOUSE5" "+heroabilitylearn"
bind "d" "dota_item_execute 0"
bind "g" "dota_item_execute 1"
bind "j" "dota_item_execute 2"
bind "x" "dota_item_execute 3"
bind "v" "dota_item_execute 4"
bind "n" "dota_item_execute 5"
bind "." "dota_purchase_stickybuy"
bind "/" "stash_grab_all"
bind "," "dota_purchase_quickbuy"
bind "f" "dota_stop"
bind "k" "mc_attack"
bind "i" "mc_move"
bind "8" "+dota_camera_follow;+dota_camera_follow"//
bind "7" "dota_select_all"//selecting all your units
bind "6" "dota_select_all_others"//selecting all but hero
bind "5" "dota_courier_deliver"
bind "a" "+smartshop"
bind "4" "+voicerecord"//
bind "0" "dota_glyph"//
bind "SPACE" "dota_cycle_selected"
bind "MOUSE4" "dota_ability_autocast 0"//
bind "t" "+topruneview"
bind "y" "+botruneview"
bind "e" "+chatwheel; chat0"
bind "3" "+chatwheel; chat1"
bind "2" "+chatwheel; chat2"
bind "w" "+chatwheel; chat3"
//HH03.cfg
bind "f6" "exec HH04.cfg"
dota_player_units_auto_attack 0
dota_player_units_auto_attack_after_spell 1
dota_player_teleport_requires_halt 1
dota_player_add_summoned_to_selection 0
bind "u" "dota_ability_execute 0"
bind "h" "dota_ability_execute 1"
bind "m" "dota_ability_execute 2"
bind "r" "dota_ability_execute 5"
bind "MOUSE5" "+heroabilitylearn"
bind "d" "dota_item_execute 0"
bind "g" "dota_item_execute 1"
bind "j" "dota_item_execute 2"
bind "x" "dota_item_execute 3"
bind "v" "dota_item_execute 4"
bind "n" "dota_item_execute 5"
bind "." "dota_purchase_stickybuy"
bind "/" "stash_grab_all"
bind "," "dota_purchase_quickbuy"
bind "f" "dota_stop"
bind "k" "mc_attack"
bind "i" "mc_move"
bind "8" "+dota_camera_follow;+dota_camera_follow"//
bind "7" "dota_select_all"//selecting all your units
bind "6" "dota_select_all_others"//selecting all but hero
bind "5" "dota_courier_deliver"
bind "a" "+smartshop"
bind "4" "+voicerecord"//
bind "0" "dota_glyph"//
bind "SPACE" "dota_cycle_selected"
bind "MOUSE4" "dota_ability_autocast 1"//
bind "t" "+topruneview"
bind "y" "+botruneview"
bind "e" "+chatwheel; chat0"
bind "3" "+chatwheel; chat1"
bind "2" "+chatwheel; chat2"
bind "w" "+chatwheel; chat3"
//HH04.cfg
bind "f6" "exec HH02.cfg"
dota_player_units_auto_attack 0
dota_player_units_auto_attack_after_spell 1
dota_player_teleport_requires_halt 1
dota_player_add_summoned_to_selection 0
bind "u" "dota_ability_execute 0"
bind "h" "dota_ability_execute 1"
bind "m" "dota_ability_execute 2"
bind "r" "dota_ability_execute 5"
bind "MOUSE5" "+heroabilitylearn"
bind "d" "dota_item_execute 0"
bind "g" "dota_item_execute 1"
bind "j" "dota_item_execute 2"
bind "x" "dota_item_execute 3"
bind "v" "dota_item_execute 4"
bind "n" "dota_item_execute 5"
bind "." "dota_purchase_stickybuy"
bind "/" "stash_grab_all"
bind "," "dota_purchase_quickbuy"
bind "f" "dota_stop"
bind "k" "mc_attack"
bind "i" "mc_move"
bind "8" "+dota_camera_follow;+dota_camera_follow"//
bind "7" "dota_select_all"//selecting all your units
bind "6" "dota_select_all_others"//selecting all but hero
bind "5" "dota_courier_deliver"
bind "a" "+smartshop"
bind "4" "+voicerecord"//
bind "0" "dota_glyph"//
bind "SPACE" "dota_cycle_selected"
bind "MOUSE4" "dota_ability_autocast 5"//
bind "t" "+topruneview"
bind "y" "+botruneview"
bind "e" "+chatwheel; chat0"
bind "3" "+chatwheel; chat1"
bind "2" "+chatwheel; chat2"
bind "w" "+chatwheel; chat3"

Dietary changes helping with sleeping habits, the climate messes with them.

So, in my quest for better health I have found that choosing to not continue to chew gum is helping. How, you might ask? It's simple, the phenylalanine absorbed through the gum chewing is allowing my body to remain paralyzed for inordinate periods of time. This means that when I awake I simply cannot get up, and I've had episodes in the past where I will be completely awake mentally for HOURS and can't get up because my muscles still think I'm supposed to be dreaming.

And another bit of information, it is difficult to sleep multiple times a day, even moreso when it's hard to keep the room temperatures stable. With extreme weather, or at least extreme to me, I have been able to get to sleep at times but it isn't always effective. Therefore my sleeping schedule seems to be mostly still all over the place at the moment, however what is important in the way I have improved is that I'm currently doing my best to avoid sleeping at times where it would not particularly help my body. Due to the nature of living so far towards the North of the world in the summer what this means is that sometimes I only sleep once a day, just as soon as the sun is setting and then wake up some ~7 hours later or so. I have been able to have intermissions at times, although I typically require the assistance of an alarm clock of some sort.

Right now it's not looking very good for polyphasic sleeping pattern arguments, but I think a lot of that inability must be contributed to the length of time the Earth faces the Sun from this angle every 24 hours, which is excessive for my preference. In other words, it just gets too hot and dry to relax. I think though, that if I eat enough and eat well enough then perhaps I can do greater with my sleeping habit efforts. In the meantime, I and others agree that doing some meaningful work can encourage my physical body to comply with my plans. Another tidbit of information is that during this summer I been turning a cool air humidifier on, and that has been an enormous help in maintaining a proper breathing atmosphere. I also got a bedroom plant for this purpose, and I think I may need to get a bigger pot for it very soon.

Alternative sleeping patterns - my current situation

I have dry skin and due to this I have noticed something amazing which is that if I sleep at least twice a day rather than once a day, my condition improves dramatically. So in the name of improving my health I have been attempting to sleep in 3-6 shifts per day, but for a short amount of time each shift. So far I have been mostly unsuccessful at consistently sleeping for less than an hour, so sleeping for 4-6 shifts a day at the moment for me is impossible.

So far I have found some success at sleeping for about 3 hours in 2 shifts of 100 sleeping windows each, so about 10-30 minutes to get ready for bed and I typically wake up a minute before or the very minute of the alarm. Since I'm not as efficient as I'd like to be, I'm planning to set up the roughly-12-hours-later-sleeping-time to be an experimental sleeping window. In the meantime, I was actually running 4 sleeping windows but what happened every time was that I didn't sleep all 4 windows because the first 2 windows gave me so much already. So for now I'm going back to 3 windows and the extra window will be the one I will shrink back gradually.

By shrinking back the window gradually, and in the meantime restricting myself to 3 sleeping windows, I may be able to slip in a fourth window eventually by shrinking the existing sleeping windows. I probably won't be able to do it any time soon, but I am feeling a bit better that I understand now how I may be able to reach that goal. For now, I am eager to find out how difficult or easy it will be for me to carry out the 3-window plan. I have ignored the alarms from time to time, and slept too much for a single shift at times, but hopefully this 3-window plan will be a mild enough change that I won't ignore the alarms.

actions regarding marijuana insufficient

http://www.mapinc.org/drugnews/v14/n271/a09.html "the costs to taxpayers is staggering..." oh really? and you think it's okay to leave retired people, older relatives of addicted users paying for costs of these invalids, these marijuana addicts? the legalization of marijuana has been for the purpose of saving money! nothing more. and yet all we are left with is roughly the same money spent on these invalids, but in new ways. taxpayers still put up the money for the retired people, so where is the sense in all this? there isn't any!

to be clear, i don't think that legalizing it was necessarily a bad thing, but doing it was a decision made for the wrong reason.


*i initially posted this on facebook but that action annoyed someone so i'm reposting it here where i presumably get fewer viewers. i still want people to know that this is a failing of our government.

**the problem with marijuana seems to be linked to a misunderstanding of how marijuana works. i don't know a lot about it, but i know that some people are abusing it. i believe it is imperative for the medical community to do more research on this and broadcast their findings so that users don't wreck themselves incidentally so often.

something is missing...let me think about it for a bit, come read as i do

the awkward thing is, i know i need to reach out to friends and express myself, but there's a dark place inside of me that is telling me not to. there's a big part of me that wants to just play things cool, even  if that's the wrong thing to do. and it really varies. everything i do in life, i have to have a certain something... i'm not even sure what i'm trying to tell...to get it right.

where is my consistency? i'm having trouble realizing when i should be warm and when i should be cool, and hot and cold likewise. my personality...i...have trouble keeping track of all the things i'm capable of. and of all the things i've done in the past, it seems i can't even do it all! and that frustrates me. i'm not telling that i'm always failing at things, not quite what i meant. i can certainly meet expectations or even surpass them, it really depends on the task and my capabilities.

what really bothers me is that the way circumstances change, the way not everything progresses in an ideal fashion...it's as if the older i get the more i lose of myself. i'm not losing myself, but i'm losing parts of me. illustratively, you can suppose that it happens to me more quickly than it does to others, and evidence for it is found in my skin itself. i do have psoriasis. so i literally lose my skin quickly. by my own imperfection am i losing parts of myself. and the losses do not stop at my complexion.

so what i do is adapt to circumstances. and i don't always adapt properly. i want to explain that everything is my fault, but i know that's not true. but in my heart i know something is holding me back. were it not for sin, i would know how to adapt properly. i wouldn't be in anguish over mistakes that i've made, for i wouldn't have made any.

one reason why it's so hard is limited understanding. i think that's what haunts me the most. there are so many times where i feel pressured by others or even myself to do things that are supposedly necessary but aren't necessary at all. and that takes away from chances to do the right things, things that will make a difference and show that i don't want to sin.

one thing that utterly drives me crazy in a way is the lack of communication towards me from old friends. i know it's unreasonable, but what happens is i think that god does not care what's going on if a human does not care what's going on. that is a sinful line of thought. but it happens time and time again. friendships don't seem real to me. but then i have to ask myself: how much of a friend have i been to others? what reason does someone else have to call me their friend? and i really start coming up short.

but there is a song i read the words for recently that is reminding me of a certain word that may be undervalued at the moment. hospitality, which is kindness to strangers. strangers? yes, people that are not your friends, not even acquaintances. how kind do you need to be to your friends if they're already doing just fine? should you not reserve kindness for strangers? and now i realize, i have been kind to friends all my life, sometimes too kind, perhaps more often than not if i dare say so.

what is the point? hospitality is a very simple thing that has the potential to make me a better person. i have various feelings and habits that have proven detrimental over the years, and it's about time i start dealing with those things appropriately. i can think of many occasions where the point of hospitality managed to pay off, and i can only imagine that had i managed to get a finer grasp on ways for me to apply the concept that my life would be more full and fun than it is now.

what i believe i'm getting at is that until now i think i've been somewhat clueless as to what people in general need. whether it's myself or someone else, we all need to experience kindness from others. and lots of it!

a blog neglected, a life taking root?

check out what i used to wear...

now don't get me wrong, having a job afforded me both a place to live, and fancy clothes...but if i could do it all over again...maybe it would've been a little better if i spent less time worrying about my clothes and more time taking care of my body. then again, i'm sure being an insomniac didn't help me any.

if i could do it all over again, i would've been chomping on supplements from supersup.com rather than buying some of these clothes, yeah...or at least stall a bit before buying them. i guess i was 'greedy' for attention.